Sand in Water

Don’t shut your eyes this time
Let yourself see the truth
That there’s more than the pain you feel
That there’s more than the tears he shed
That there’s more than the words she spoke
And there’s more to your own absent look

You don’t understand this at all, but know
He didn’t want to tear you down
He didn’t mean to rip the pieces
She didn’t want to push you away
She didn’t want you to cry alone
And you didn’t try to make a mess of your own

You can’t hold on to this by yourself
She didn’t mean to let that trigger go
He didn’t aim to keep that bullet inside
He didn’t hope you would ever be knocked out
She didn’t plan for healing to be in her plan
You can’t decide what makes someone a man

You fight but can’t seem to catch your breath
He didn’t purposefully punch you in the rib
She didn’t want to knock the wind out of you
He didn’t desire to drown you in this drought
She didn’t think she would pull you under water
You didn’t want this swim to end dried in disorder

You lose your sleep for fear of nightmares
He can’t wake up in the morning now
She can’t doze without the t-v in her ear
He can’t bear the noise which floods his days
She can’t handle the static which fills her head           
You don’t know the last time you had dry eyes in your bed…

But you don’t remember the last time you really cried at all…

You didn’t mean it- not one of you did-
You all might have turned back the other way
You might have said what you didn’t say
You might have tried what you now know
You might have done what you didn’t understand
If you could have seen what was coming

You couldn’t though- not one of you could-

So let it out and let it go
Forgive him now, even if he can’t forgive you
Tell her how you feel, even if she can’t give it back
Tell him you’re sorry, even if you can’t tell he is
Tell her what it is you meant to say, even if she’s deaf
Do the thing you’ve needed most, even if he won’t
Then no matter what, let it go and let it out…

Close your eyes this time
Don’t be afraid to dream tonight
He felt things you’ll never know
She carried more than you realized
So much that you each kept inside
But Let it go and let it out:                  
All this stuff causing your drought
Do whatever it is you need to
Let it go and let it out.

-- Written by Sandy Heights
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