Smiling

I am trying to figure out how to act

Wondering if this could be fact

As I think of you, you seem to know just what to do

And what gets me is that what you do… is just you

 

You’re not anymore perfect than I am

But it’s the perfect that always proves to be a sham

And I don’t want what’s perfect- I want what’s real

And it’s what’s real that’s making me scared of what I feel.

 

I feel like I’ve completely lost my mind

As I sit here awake wanting to avoid another bind

Why do my thoughts revolve around a store?

Why did I see you just as I was tossed back on shore?

 

There are so many things to make this go so wrong

And I’m so scared to make this stop or move along

I want you to see who I am- the good and bad

I don’t want you at a distance from the past I’ve had

 

You always manage to surprise me somehow

And I’m so torn as to what I should do now

But maybe this could be everything we need

As I’m already beginning to follow your lead

 

I’m smiling as I write these words down here

But with the smile there’s a growing fear

But I won’t let that fear keep me locked up again

My fear isn’t going to keep me where I’ve been.

 

–Written by Sandy Heights

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