Badly Unfixed

Writing, writing, writing, always writing

I’m writing down these facts which come undone

The facts: my past is coming undone to re-open

I walked away, but did I come back for this moment?

You walked away; why are you returning to this moment?

These facts aren’t really facts at all today

New decisions come and wash old facts away

I’m not sure I want the thoughts which will come tomorrow

What am I to do, think, feel, say, or run to?

I see an answer in which everyone hurts

If we were to drop it, we should have left it alone

So badly, I don’t want to, but want to, do this anymore

Why is this coming back? Maybe it’s been here all along

But I don’t want to hurt you or you me once again

Must we always hurt someone?

I can’t fix this: it’s spinning-

A scratched record of what we’ve left unsaid

You can’t fix this any more than ever before

The scratches, scrapes, lines, breaks, and lies remain

Stopping. the vinyl we need to hear from playing

We need to say what we remember

This time because it can’t be fixed.

 

–Written by Sandy Heights

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