Sedentary

There is a memory I carry with me.

It follows me around,

Sitting beside me,

Hiding out, simmering within my head.

There is a place I want to be.

There is a moment I want to return to.

And a once planned future that will never be.

I feel locked, stuck, and unmoving

As I watch days turn to weeks

And I still feel everything.

But while my heart feels frozen,

My feet keep walking

Toward a different future

Than what I had once planned.

Time doesn’t stop moving for the mourning.

Days don’t pause when someone dies.

And I see a future I must walk toward.

And so I walk. I move. I push–

Even while my heart is sedentary–

And I keep your memory with me.

—Written by Sandy Heights