In this season of joy and gratitude
I find it hard to describe how I truly feel.
I love the sights of family and friends.
I am grateful for the distraction of our hustle and bustle
And the opportunity to focus on more than you.
But within these quiet nights,
I find myself returning to the moment when I lost you,
The choices that could have– I wish would have– been changed,
The minutes that felt like seconds but weighed down on me like days;
I return to the very moment I realized there was nothing I could do.
And so how do I describe a season
That at times still feels filled with joy,
But which has laced that joy with grief?
How do I express gratitude
When what I loved was taken away?
How do I capture a holiday
Within words that will never be enough
To describe what I lost that day?
–Written by Sandy Heights