Damn Mess

I’m a damn mess.

One minute I’m planning ahead,

Full of trust in a future of gold.

The next, I imagine the peace I’d feel

If I were finally dead.

I’m a damn mess.

One day, I think I’ve accepted

The vast space left behind our loss.

But one unexpected memory

And I question if love is worth the cost.

I’m a damn mess.

One week I know you are here for me.

The next I’m crying

Because you can’t understand

What this year has taken–

The emptiness I see.

I’m a damn mess.

One moment, month, year, and decade

Goes so unexpectedly fast.

I won’t be in this much pain forever

But in this moment, I can’t let it go.

So just hold this mess of me

And I promise soon enough

You will once again someday soon

See the best in me.

But for now, I’m a damn mess.

If in crisis, call the national suicide prevention lifeline @ 1-800-273-8225

–Written by Sandy Heights

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